But the passage of time in this post is important because I want to fill you in on the progress I've made physically since my son was born. At 5 months postpartum, I had made a lot of change in what seemed a relatively short period of time. From 2 months pp to 5 months pp I had lost 2 inches in my waist, 2 inches around my belly button and 2 inches in my hips (check out my previous blog post--a year ago--for more details). A year after that, I have lost 3.75 inches in my waist, 3.75 inches around my belly button and 3.5 inches in my hips. I'm also back to my pre-pregnancy weight, something that seemed like a Herculean task almost 1.5 years ago. My body's measurements have shifted a bit before pregnancy and that's okay with me. I mean, it's not "ideal" but hey! My body made a huge baby and it stretched and made way for A HUMAN BEING. How miraculous is that?!
I'm definitely not the type of person who "bounced back" easily. It took a lot of work for me to feel good in my skin again. I stayed dedicated to my workouts because it wasn't just about the measurements, it was about the control it provided in my life during a chaotic time. It gave me the ability to know I had command over something in my life, even if it was only 30 minutes of my day. It also helped me stay strong in mind and body when I was facing times when there was very little strength left. You guys, having a baby is the hardest thing I have done but I'm lucky I was healthy to be able to turn to my workouts to keep me sane(r).
How many times have you read about mom transitions? Are you bored? Be honest. I just feel like I have to touch on this because going through all of the physical craziness of making a human is so wild. To watch your body change and grow and stretch and shift and live in that...there really are no words. Then you have the mental challenge that follows. And the exhaustion of both the mental and the physical on top of raising a child. How do we do it? Seriously, how do we do it?
I really don't know how I have done it, but I do know that it has made me realize that I am capable of doing things I truly never thought possible. The year after Declan was born, I didn't have a whole lot of space in my mind, body or soul to do much else other than take care of that little baby. I wanted to so badly. I wanted myself back again, but there wasn't really much room for me. My heart and soul shifted to Declan and there it lived for a year. It still does but I'm slowly getting parts of it back.
After all of that soul shifting, and a piece of it forever with Declan, I have decided I need to face my fears to do what I need to do for me. So each day, I'm putting myself out there in ways I normally wouldn't and I've made 2018 "YEAR WITHOUT FEAR." Today it's this blog post and facing the fear of sharing these thoughts in hopes that it resonates with others. It's also facing the fear of sharing pictures of my transition and the judgement that potentially comes with it. Even though my body isn't perfect, I'm proud of the progress I've made and I'm lucky that it supports me in ways I never thought possible. It wakes up at ungodly hours, carries a big, healthy boy around as he wiggles in my embrace (I can't believe the strength that takes over when he is pushing out of my arms but my arms pull him back), it keeps going when I think I'm too tired to push through my extremely long days, and it allows me to exercise through it all--giving me bursts of energy after a HIIT workout, yoga class, or strength training session. It is amazing, and I'm grateful for it. So here I am after losing 11 inches total in just my waist, belly, and hips. Not sure of the total if I had tracked the rest of my body, too.
Here's to you and all of the transitions you want to make and to facing your own fears in 2018. Fingers crossed that I don't let another year slip by without blogging!
